I don’t know about you, but man I am absolutely pissed off with the attempted coup at the nation’s Capitol. As I’m sure you’ve seen, tons of domestic terrorists descended upon the Capitol, killed a police officer, and injured 49 others.
It was gross and I’d love to punch someone in the face over it. Instead, I am venting my frustrations through video games, and decided the best way to do this is to curate a list of games you can kill nazis, insurrectionists, terrorists, and just generally shit people. All without the legal issues of vigilantism.
Wolfenstein 1 & 2
These are classic. Play as B.J. Blazkowicz and go and give those nazis the worst and painful imaginable deaths you can. Both Wolfenstein 1 and 2are fantastic games but I am a bit partial to the 2nd over the first. There is plenty of visceral gore to go around and the carnage is quite therapeutic. Do yourself a favor though, avoid Youngblood. It really isn’t that good.
The Division 2
The nation has been besieged by the “Dollar Flu,” a global pandemic that was developed to cripple the United States by enemies both foreign and domestic. Play as a Division agent, a specially trained military operative, that is activated to help restore order and safety to the people of Washington D.C. and New York. Bonus points for this one because all the tools and gadgets you get make taking out the terrorist trash extra fun, you can also do this with up to three friends.
Dishonored 1 & 2
In both games, you get to play as a shadowy assassin getting revenge against those that overthrew your leaders. There’s a lot more context to go with it, but the beautifully intricate ways to exact your vengeance is really what is on display here. Go for the quick and dirty kill or let your enemies’ vices and habits be the end of them with more covert options. The world is your bloody oyster, after all.
Call of Duty: Cold War
Well, realistically I’m talking about Call of Duty’s multiplayer modes. I spent a moment playing with some random groups and was inundated with idiots yelling about MAGA and Trump. It was especially nice ending up on opposite teams and just tearing into them with reckless abandon. I mean it is also a really fun story and the zombie mode is rad too. It’s not bad on any platform but do not forget to mute team audio unless you like being called racial slurs.
You are the Doomslayer. You don’t like demons and the denizens of hell but they have done their best to infest and ruin the universe. Doomguy doesn’t play those games though and wages a one-man war against hell itself. As Doom Eternal clues you in early, hell doesn’t want any of that. Just imagine every demon is a MAGA-hat-wearing neckbeard and you are set!
Ghost of Tsushima
Easily my favorite game of 2020. Assume the role of samurai and man just too angry to die, Jin Sakai, as he does his best to take back Tsushima Island from the Mongol invaders. He gets his butt kicked out of the gate but rounds up a crew of revolutionaries and angry folk to eventually engage in some incredibly enjoyable combat and boss fights.
This one also has an incredibly in-depth co-op mode with Ghost of Tsushima: Legends. Pick a class, kill some demons, and grow stronger. You also get to do it with friends so there’s plenty of fun to go around.
Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla
You may actually be the guys rolling in to cause problems in this one but let’s be real, the Templars totally deserve it. Personally, I just started this one myself but there is always something about the freedom that Assasin’s Creed games give you and the satisfaction you get from punishing the wicked. I’ve liked what I played so far and it looks really good on Xbox Series X. I suppose you could always play Assassin’s Creed 3 if you absolutely want to stay on brand here. It isn’t as good though.
There’s a lot of other games out there that allow you to kill Nazis and other turd-face types. Game series like Sniper Elite built their brand on popping Nazi noggins. If you are feeling a little more on the civil-unrest side of things,Watch Dogs is basically all about that.
Unfortunately, fantasy violence really won’t do much to these mouth breathers. We’re close to the path of retribution but not there yet. In the interim, I hope you all keep your spirits high and can let out some of those frustrations through the games above.
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