I don’t know about you, but every Nazi I see I instinctively want to punch in the temple. I mean, come on Nazis, you’re a totally unlikeable bunch of pricks, aren’t you? A thoroughly assault-worthy gaggle of the most woefully worthless cunts imaginable. So imagine my delight when I heard about a browser game that lets you punch Nazis in the face. Little cardboard Nazis. With a little cardboard fist. At least now I don’t have to get my hands dirty smashing my knuckles into the face of something so revolting.
Cardboard Wolfenstein 3D is a real-life rendition of the classic id Software game of the
same similar name. Released back in the 90s, players take control of an Allied spy named William “B.J.” Blazkowicz as he attempts to foil his capture by Hitler’s henchmen and escape Castle Wolfenstein. Well, this game is kinda like that, except everything is made of cardboard and you play it via a mobile phone and a little robot. Nice! Wanna punch a Nazi? Here we go!
The art of fighting, without fighting
If you take a look at the video above, you will see that the cardboard version of Wolfenstein duplicates the sprites and layout of a typical level in the game. Also, you’ll see that you play the game via your browser. Basically, you are controlling the robot which has a smartphone attached to it. You are then viewing the video through the smartphone’s front-facing camera.
All you need to do from here use the on-screen controls to drive the robot around the level. Oh and punch a load of warmongering fascist arseholes in the face. Can’t really say fairer than that, can you? You can play the game by heading here. Be aware, though, that you can only play it at certain times. These are Wed Aug 26: 4:30 AM to 1:30 PM EST, Wed Sep 2: 4:30 AM to 1:30 PM EST, and Thur Sep 3: 4:30 AM to 1:30 PM EST.
The game is the brainchild of one Ross Atkin. His company, Smartipresence, is currently running a Kickstarter campaign to fund the development of telepresence robots. Indeed, it is one of these robots that appears as a prototype in the game. Presumably, the intention here is to gain a few more backers for the Kickstarter. From the video, it does look like quite good fun and showcases what these tiny telepresence robots can do.
All good fun
Obviously this is all just a bit of fun and we would never condone actual violence. Unless, of course, you’re smacking a Nazi in the teeth. But seriously, this is a great venture from Smartipresence and it deserves support. It has loads of real-life applications. You could use it as a little patrol sentry when you’re not at home. You could use it to create fun movies from ankle height. It could even work so you can reassure your children remotely if they’re with a babysitter and having a toddler moment, for example.
Not only that, but it is a superb example of a STEM toy. You can give this to any bright young thing and they’d have a blast building it and then playing with it. The cardboard nature of the product also lends itself to being an environmentally friendly product too. Of course, I imagine it would be a fun little device to play with no matter your age.